Husband's betrayal: What to do? How to find out about her husband's betrayal: signs and psychology of betrayal

You have long noticed changes in your husband’s behavior, your marriage is cracking at the seams, and the quarrels are becoming more and more often? This may be hundreds of explanations, and one of them is treason. How to understand whether your husband changes what to do in such a situation, and how to determine the cause of treason - you will find answers to these and many other questions in the article.

Unfortunately, marital infidelity is a fairly common occurrence. According to statistics, 97% of men at least once, but cheated on their girlfriend or wife. The difference is whether it is a systematic process or a single misconduct, whether his wife was able to understand and notice treason or is in a happy ignorance, because her husband’s betrayal is a strong blow to the psychological health of a woman. It is almost impossible to realize, as a chosen one, support and a satellite in life preferred a family hearth on the side.

Psychology of treason

Cheating is a serious test of the mental forces of both sides. A woman is experiencing the strongest mental pain, depression, a decrease in self -esteem, fear of a new betrayal. A man is often tormented by remorse and guilt, sometimes from the inability to turn time and change the situation. Even with a regular novel, the side requires a lot of forces and energy, material resources to ensure secrecy and the development of relations on the side.

Mutual stress and stress increase and seek a way out. In most percent of cases, the output is a gap. Moreover, it is far from the fact that the family will break up precisely because of treason. The novel on the side may remain unsolved. Let's try to understand the psychology of betrayal.

1. Fridged love
   One of the main reasons for male treason is that feelings are burned out, love is over. Perhaps he is not to blame for this, but it is better to discuss relationships and release each other instead of secret relations with another woman. In this case, the man, in fact, does not change, but begins another life.
2. Problems in family relationships
   There may be a lot of problems: from constant quarrels to lack of attention from the wife. In this case, the situation is possible that love did not go anywhere, and the husband tried to stabilize relations in such a peculiar way. With family problems, men note that betrayal is an impetus for understanding the value of the family hearth, and serves as a good lesson that you do not want to repeat.
3. Internal problems of a man
   In this case, the reasons are striking in their diversity. Some men graze before fear of a serious relationship or a load of responsibility , others are too uncertain in themselves, and in such a way not burdened by moral, they are trying to raise their self -esteem.
4. Stereotypes
   A vision of a stereotype about monogamous relationships can also push a man to treason. For example, in certain circles there is an opinion that a self -sufficient and wealthy man is simply obliged to have a mistress, for status it is supposed to be. Or marital fidelity is akin to dependence on a person. Of course, blindly following stereotypes is the same kind of self -doubt and strong dependence on the opinions of others.
5. Other
   It is impossible to list all the reasons that pushing her husband to treason. Sometimes it is simply useless to look for the guilty, and only a psychologist can figure out the situation. It is important to remember one thing: in the case of treason, to one degree or another, two always suffer.

Psychology of treason

I also propose to consider several types of men who, from the point of view of psychology, are prone to constant betrayal:

• Narcissus
  You will not be full of constant admiration. Men of this type need more and more women to make sure of their irresistibility and attractiveness
• Don Juan
  Flirt is a game, and Donjuang sets the rules. He wants and knows how to like women and enjoys his power over the beautiful sex with might and main.
• Libertine
  He needs new sensations, diversity to prove his own masculinity. “I am a man, I am a male” - this is what the libertine feels, having won a new victim, but a sense of novelty is lost, and he moves to the next object
• Unsatisfied
  Can constantly change women, even fall in love and start a serious relationship and build a joint life, however, deep emotional attachment does not feel to anyone
• Collector
  Constant random ties, innumerable partners - all this can bore a collector, but he cannot stop, this is a psychological disease

Interesting: according to statistics, 72% of men who are married, believes that a friend (brother, acquaintance, neighbor) is better.

Types of men prone to betrayal

The reasons for the betrayal of men

There can be a lot of reasons to go left, and even more you can come up with an excuse for the adultery. However, from this variety, the main reasons that pushing the spouse to treason can be distinguished.

• New sensations
  New feelings, new emotions, new experiences - all this attracts and delays in the whirlpool of marital infidelity. It’s difficult to return the spouse to the true path, that is, to the family. To do this, you need to surprise him, get in love with yourself. If you just let go of the situation and go with the flow, then, most likely, the result will be a gap. A man of boredom will prefer new love
• Responsiveness
  Yes, yes, women are also not angels, and sometimes a virtuous spouse is cheating. If your husband has learned about betrayal on your part, make every effort to stabilize the situation. A response may arise, and the offended man will go left.
• Common interests
  Unfortunately, you can often hear the phrase from married couples: "We are not even about talking about." If a joint time of the house consists only of discussing purchases or distribution of duties, then someone who shares your husband’s hobbies may well appear. It can be a football fan that he met at the stadium, or a work colleague.
• Love or benefit
  Not all marriages are consisted with love, many live by calculation. The benefit is not necessarily material, but a man can compensate for a lack of love on the side. The spouse may not even love himself, but respond to the feelings and interest of the new partner.
• Replenishment
  Your prolonged absence, illness or protracted quarrel leads to a lack of love experiences and intimate relationships. A long abstinence provokes a man to treason.
• Gap
  The family has already outlived itself, and you live like neighbors? Most likely, until the moment until a new relationship appears.
• Accident
  The most stupid and most meaningless betrayal. It just coincided. Drillization, emotions, excessive perseverance - this is what can provoke a random connection. Most often, betrayal is limited once, and is no longer repeated, and the man experiences a strong feeling of guilt.
• Panic of middle age
  The man tries to prove that his libido does not fade away, and in the intimate sphere he is still good.

Interesting statistics: only one out of ten incorrect men are cheating on love, moved by feelings, the rest of the respondents explain the betrayal only by curiosity and physiological need.

Causes of male treason

How to find out about her husband's betrayal: signs of betrayal

According to polls, 97%of women believe that men are polygamous, and no one is safe from treason. You can suspect treason, but not have obvious evidence. Or perceiving the situation to be wrong and in vain to torture her husband, accusing him of treason.

Important: there are frequent cases when his wife pushes an infinite pathological jealousy on treason. The principle is triggered: if they are accused, then even if there is a reason.

Most likely, your husband is cheating if:

• He began to pay increased attention of appearance.
  He can start using perfume, which he did not do before, or radically change the style. The appearance of interest in sports, changing hairstyles, thorough shaving.
• Sharply changed his attitude to everyday life
  He stopped discussing household issues with you, looks distant and indifferent. It does not show interest in family issues.
• Fallser
  Constant nit -dodgy, reproaches, emphasis on your shortcomings helps a man justify himself by finding the reason why he chooses another.
• Long business trips
  If your husband’s work initially did not imply long absences, trips around the country, then perhaps this is an excuse to allocate time for a love relationship on the side. This also includes endless meetings, work on weekends and the frequent corporate parties.
• Reducing income
  If your spouse suddenly, for no apparent reason, began to provide a family less, financial holes appeared, which he cannot explain - there is a chance that he spends money on his mistress.
• Telephone
  The husband hides the phone, puts a password, can ignore calls or go to talk to another room.
• Intimate
  The sudden appearance of new skills or complete cooling to sex. The appearance of sexually transmitted diseases or infections that are transmitted sexually.

In addition to changes in the behavior of your husband, you can notice material evidence of treason, starting from banal traces of lipstick or hair on clothes to an increased mileage on the speedometer.

However, you should not chop off the shoulder, possibly found a hairpin is a reasonable explanation.

Signs of husband's betrayal

How to forgive her husband's betrayal?

Cheating is a serious test for any relationship. You have a choice: to stop relations or forgive betrayal. It happens that the husband repents, and the woman according to try to live on, but it cannot be forgiven. The result is sad - gap.

• Before trying to forgive, you need to understand the causes of treason. Firstly, you also need to forgive with dignity. Do not let yourself hysterical, tears, and even worse - fights. Your husband will have a calm serious conversation more in which try to find out the cause of the betrayal. This will knock your spouse out of balance, and he is unlikely to be able to feel like the master of the situation
• Secondly, think about why treason has occurred? Perhaps you plunged into the work or devote yourself to the whole child, but there is simply no time left for your husband? Or have you already forgotten when the last time you slept in the same bed? Try to analyze the situation, perhaps you (not wanting it yourself) pushed your spouse to the side
• Thirdly, figure it out. What do you feel? Can you forgive betrayal? If so - then first of all consider the situation from a different angle, as if from the side. The key factor when choosing to forgive her husband is generally the behavior of the spouse after treason. It is one thing if he sincerely repents and tries to rectify the situation. But sometimes men behave aggressively, as if they are angry that they were convicted. Then it makes no sense to keep the family simply

Psychologists divide treason into several types depending on their “severity”:

• Spiritual - the most severe type of betrayal. A man falls in love with another woman and practically begins a new life. He likes to provide her with signs of attention, spend more and more time. Sometimes with spiritual treason, even for a long time there is no fact of physical proximity
• Spontaneous - the husband fell victim to circumstances. Strong stress, prolonged separation, emotions, alcohol - all this can become the prerequisites for spontaneous treason. Often happens once and does not foresee any continuation
• Planned - in this situation, to justify the betrayal or stupidity of treason will not work. Whether it is a regular novel on the side or one -time trips to the left - treason is planned in advance, the details are carefully thought out
• The lifestyle - some psychological types (we examined them above) have changed, change and change. In this case, you need to either come to terms or disperse, because the situation is unlikely to change. There are, of course, exceptions, but they only confirm the rule

Even if you have forgiven your husband’s betrayal, you should not make life easier for him. Let him give you signs of attention, recognize each other again, survive the candy-bouquet period.

Important: if you decide to forgive, do not return to this situation through checks, reproaches and suspicions. Give your relationship a chance to survive.

How to forgive treason

I can not forgive my husband betrayal: what to do?

It happens that it is insanely difficult to forgive, it doesn’t matter even whether it was a random connection or a long romance.

Think about everything on emotions, weigh the pros and cons ... and leave. You can try to step over yourself, but nothing will come of it without forgiveness. Remember forgiveness - this is not just words, but a deep psychological process.

Perhaps you can forgive later, when the passions will hang around, and your family will still have a chance to revive. But this will not be earlier than you can forgive. And how to leave - calmly or with a grand scandal, with tears or proudly closing the door behind you - you decide.

Gap after the betrayal of her husband

How to survive her husband’s betrayal, how to overcome depression?

• First of all, you need to calm down and move emotions into the background. Self -digging, hatred and thirst for revenge will not help, except to get confused in yourself
• Support for support. It can be a mother or a best friend. It is desirable that there is a person who can listen to you and be a vest for your tears
• Let go of the situation
• Concentrate on your own plans (not on joint!), Remember what you dreamed about in childhood. Take care of something for yourself-jump with a parachute, re-pour wallpaper, start teaching French
• Let's go out to emotions. Instead of hugging the pillow, pour tears for hours, go on a run or beat the pillow. You can state in the letter everything that has been boiled, and then burn it
• Look at the situation from a different angle, perceive it as an invaluable experience. Rejoice that there are no more lies next to you.
• Communicate with those whom you trust so as not to be disappointed in people
• Find a hobby, sign up for some courses, make new acquaintances

Give an exit to emotions

Or maybe a divorce and a new life?

If the husband’s betrayal ended with a divorce, do not focus on this. Try to start a new life. This will help the change of activity, environment, change of style. The main thing - remember that you should not tolerate distrust of the world around, because your husband has changed you, and not a pretty guy who smiled at your exhibition.

How to establish relationships after my husband's betrayal?

1. Cool and remember what connects you. Acquaintance, marriage, child, joint problems and joys - all this will be on one side of the scales. On the second - treason. What outweighs for you?
2. Turn away from the thoughts of the rival, you do not need to present them together or scroll through their correspondence in your head. It won't get better from this. On the contrary, look at the situation more global: there is a roof over your head, food, everyone is alive and healthy. And betrayal ... as was sung in a popular song: "We will survive this trouble"
3. Decide for yourself what you see in the future? A happy full family or lonely self -sufficiency? Make a choice and work on it. However, if you have chosen forgiveness, then forget about the constant reproaches of your husband and exhausting jealousy. So you can't correct the situation
4. Demand from your husband to terminate all kinds of contacts with the rival. If he is ready to stop communication up to a change of place of work, for example, then think about it, because he chose you and only he really needs you. Moreover, to change the place of work and is not necessary, the main thing is that he is ready to do it (if he started a novel at work, of course)
5. Return to intimacy passion and desire
6. Make a schedule of household duties. And you will have no time to change help and your husband
7. Control financial expenses, or at least be aware of where the family budget goes

How to establish relationships after treason

Husband's betrayal: reviews

• Cheating can sometimes benefit, no matter how paradoxical it sounds. Of course, most women choose a divorce, and a second attempt to establish everything does not end in success
• However, in any case, treason is a good reason to either find the strength in yourself and break a long-disgraced marriage, or look at the family in a new way
• Many couples admitted that after treason, family life became harder. The man began to appreciate his family and fall in love with his spouse, and the woman found the strength to become attractive and interesting for her husband again

Video: Husband betrayal